Writer’s Note: This story involves depictions of cockvore.

There resides within my spirit the faintest fragment of a self which does not believe in Heaven. That is not to say that the afterlife does not exist. I believe that because we are existing in a constant state of memory, there can be no real endpoint to those memories. Eventually we will experience death, and our eternity will be then decided by whatever form we take thereafter.

Yet this part of me cannot believe in Heaven. The concept of a heaven is simplified into a world devoid of conflict, devoid of story. When the memories become static and unchanging, that is when the mind slowly descends into madness. Perception must be fluid to keep the mind focused, to keep the mind engaged. Heaven, or any Utopian construct, will eventually be rejected by the soul.

So, whatever form we take after we die must be one in which we are able to interact with the universe on some level; and since the powers that be don’t really allow us to choose, it would seem our only course of action is to do so ourselves before death occurs. By immortalizing oneself in this world, questions of a Heaven – or Hell, for that matter – need no longer apply.

The ramifications of these ideas weighed heavily on my mind as I left home for what would be the last time. The ambiance of falling rain and windshield wipers complemented the classical music which played through my car’s speakers. I recalled a movie where classical music played during the Apocalypse, and I smirked at the irony of it. Pretty soon, the world as I knew it would end too.

The dashboard clock said that it was eleven at night. Save for the occasional eighteen-wheeler, the highway was pitch black for miles and miles. My destination was over three hundred miles away, and I needed to be there by dawn. Better to arrive in one piece than to end up tied around a tree or smashed by a massive animal.

At around one, I arrived in the next big town and merged onto the northbound freeway. What will my family think? Though I was in my mid-twenties, I had continued to live with my parents due to financial problems. Before leaving, I made sure to clean out my room as much as possible, and I also left a letter for them on my desk. In it, I told of how much I loved them, how I was planning on pursuing my dreams in my own way, and that above all else, I was happy. I am happy; I just wish I could have made that happiness a bit more tangible for their sake.

A similar letter I left on the pages of every social media site I was part of. I wanted to assure those I knew that this was not a means of ending it all, but rather a means of self-evolution. My last request to them was the spread of my words and teachings across the Net, that my ideals may live on though my body shall not.

By half-past two, I had hit the halfway point of my journey. Continuing meant I would not have enough gas to turn back, that my only option would be to keep pushing all the way to my destination. I could feel my hands shaking on the steering wheel as the reality of my decision sank in all the more. Keep it together, Nicole. There is no reason to shy away from this. You wanted this. You needed this.

This mental back-and-forth persisted as the miles wore on. I arrived in my destination city around a quarter after five, but it took another thirty minutes to find the right house. My phone had been left at home – lest it be used to track my location – and I had to rely on a few pages of printed street maps to guide me from subdivision to subdivision. Eventually I found it: a small tan house with a sprawling green lawn, chest high shrubs surrounding the perimeter and a lone car in the driveway.

This is where I find myself now. The rain has stopped; a gentle breeze is all that can be heard. Parked along the street, I have this final moment to steel myself for what is about to happen. Then I get out of the car and walk up to the door, knocking twice.

It takes ten seconds before the sound of footsteps can be heard, and then a slide built into the door opens up to reveal a pair of red eyes. “You’re early.”

“I hope I’m not inconveniencing you,” I timidly mumble. The woman’s eyes narrow, and she closes the slide before opening the door. My jaw drops at the sight of her. Those red eyes are complemented by blue skin from head to toe, grey hair flowing down to her waist. She’s completely naked, with breasts the size of my head and a cock nearly as long as my arm. Thick thighs narrow into slender calves with hooves instead of feet. Whatever her species was, I know not the name.

“I am Irina; please make yourself at home.” She’s crouching in the door frame, and I predict her to be at least seven feet tall. Once the door is closed, she straightens fully. “I’m going to ask you to remove your garments and fold them neatly on the table.”

“Eh!? Already!?” Knowing I don’t have much of a choice, I do what is asked of me. I feel tiny at only five foot eight, my breasts barely a B cup and my cock six inches at most. Sensing Irina’s gaze all over my body causes me to blush deeply. Even if she declared me acceptable or even superb among humans, I paled in comparison to her. Something about that makes me slightly depressed.

“Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee or glass of water?”

“Water would be alright, thank you.” It surprises me that someone so large could occupy a place so cramped. This small dining area contains a table, four chairs and a wooden china cabinet along the corner. I see pots hanging from hooks in the tiny kitchen where Irina is fetiching a glass from the cupboards. Glancing into the hall reveals three doors, which I can only assume are two bedrooms and a bathroom.

“I live alone, in case you were wondering.” She hands over the glass of water and motions me to a chair. “The furnishings are for the sake of my guests when I conduct transactions such as the one we are about to have. I want them as comfortable as possible, as open to their fate as can be.”

At the table’s center is a basket of apples. She takes one and throws it into the air above her. I watch in absolute awe as her massive cock stiffens upward, a long tongue flowing out and catching the apple midfall. The tongue pulls the apple down into the gaping maw of the cock; there’s a slight bulge as the fruit plunges deeper and deeper before disappearing entirely.

“Holy shit… that was…” It takes a second for me to realize my heart is pounding. A pink flush coats my face and chest, while my own cock has reached full mast without me realizing it. Irina gives a look of amusement and then stands up.

“My cock has a separate consciousness than my physical body. This duality is something members of my species have been cursed with for millennia. Thankfully, the age of the Internet has made it a simple task to find willing sacrifices.”

Yes, a sacrifice. I would be this cock’s next meal. I chose this because I had been told that it was a means to achieve a state of perfect pleasure, to escape the requirements of the human self and revel in pure simplicity that was abstraction. The life I lived, with its plagues and fears and failures, would no longer matter. The idea of becoming sex itself, always in flux, captivated me like nothing else I had ever known.

So why do I suddenly feel… cheated…? “Um, Miss Irina…? D-Does it feel… intimacy…?”

Irina chuckles. “Why not ask her yourself?” The woman, essentially a giantess, effortlessly brings her hips level with my face as I sit in the chair. I’m now face to face with that massive erection, able to stare cleanly down its maw into the darkness of those massive balls which swing like grapefruits between her thighs. Faintly I see the tongue folded up inside akin to a snake awaiting its prey.

Closing my eyes, I take my right hand and caress the side of that massive cock head. My lips move to that maw, my tongue stretching into it. It doesn’t take long for the cock’s tongue to slide across my own and into my waiting throat. My rubbing becomes more intense as I moan loudly, sensing the consciousness I’m now making out with.

In a way, it’s like I’ve forgotten Irina is there. The moment belongs to myself and the cock, the world seeming so far away. I am afraid to open my eyes, afraid that all of this will end, so I keep them closed. When I stop kissing to take a breath, I can feel the tongue leave my mouth and begin to slide down my neck. It wraps around my arms and legs, getting a sense of my overall shape. There’s almost a ticklish feeling and I giggle happily from it, having never experienced something so unique and lovely.

And then it’s over. Irina clears her throat and the tongue retracts fully into that cock. I open my eyes, and I’m back in that house staring up at the blue-skinned woman. “Are you quite done?”

“Y-Yes…”

“Then let us proceed with the arrangement.” She takes my hand and brings me down the hall to one of the rooms. I assume it to be a guest room as there isn’t much beyond a bed, a nightstand and a medium sized dresser. From floor to ceiling, everything in the room is covered in painter’s plastic. “Now, are you absolutely certain you have thought this through?”

“I am. I’ve known for a while that this is how I would want things to be.”

“That’s a very resolute answer for one so young. Do you not have dreams of a future?”

“Those are dreams I cast aside long ago, Miss Irina. I have lived just over a quarter of a century, and those things I did accomplish were more than valuable. That said, all roads have led me to this inevitable conclusion. It’s about time I embrace that.”

“If that is how you feel, then lay on the bed.” She waits for me to get comfortable on the plastic before placing the tip of her cock at my feet. That long, sensual tongue snakes out from its gaping maw, and I can feel ticklish caresses along my soles.

My giggles escalate to moans as the tongue slides between my sensitive toes. I playfully tug against it which only serves to make it lick more roughly. Soon it travels down to my ankles and begins to stretch itself into loops around my legs, heading upward. The gradual slithering of that slippery tongue sends shivers of excitement up my spine, and each consecutive loop makes movement of my legs more and more difficult. Soon the tip of the tongue is between my thighs, wrapping around my cock, and my lower body can barely move at all.

“Miss Irina… I never… expected it to feel… as good as this…!”

She whispers, “What comes next is even better,” just before tensing her hips. The tongue immediately stiffens and starts to pull my feet through the gaping maw. As I’m dragged across the plastic, I can feel a faint residue lubricating my skin. Though assisted in this way, the fact that a cock can move a one hundred fifty pound human at all is too alluring for words.

My toes curl, stimulating the inner shaft and causing it to tighten further. The pressure bends my feet and ankles downward, straightening them parallel with my legs to slurp me down more easily. It’s a tender squeeze, stimulating my feet and forcing moans from my lips. All the while, that tongue which binds me continues to flick against my cock, teasing precum out of it.

At the bend in her urethra, the pressure begins to lessen. The cock’s tip is now up to my knees, and from here, I can sense her precum leaking ever upward. It’s sticky, moreso than cum from the most virile human. I can only imagine what her actual semen is like, but then I realize that it will likely be me and I almost laugh. My hands move down to caress that beautiful tongue, surprisingly happy amid what will technically be the end of my life.

Irina enjoys it as well, purring as she traces her fingers along her balls. “Such a good girl, Nicole… It really likes when you tease it like that…” Part of me wonders how much pleasure Irina’s body actually feels, or if its evenly shared between her and her cock. Everything about this separate half – this sentient self which she carried between her legs – fascinates me to no end. I want to learn everything I can about her cock, and I start to realize that maybe I made my decision a little too soon.

The gaping maw reaches my hips, every spasm of her length like two foam rollers crushing my legs. The heat seems to build the closer my body gets to the inside of her balls. Once my ass and cock are swallowed, the pleasure becomes even more intense. My body suddenly climaxes and I scream, my own cum mixing with the precum that coats my lower half. When that mixture seeps its way into my rear, it forces another climax and another still. My chest heaves, arms and hands shaking as I realize this sensation is the new reality I signed on for.

This is amazing, but… this isn’t… On the surface, I’m chest deep and begging for more. Yet subconsciously, I’m wondering if there lies a form far greater than this. I wish that I could pause time, get a second glimpse, but I know that’s impossible. I can feel my feet submerged in boiling cum already, molecules dissolving into the mixture. There’s no pain, only eternal lust as my shoulders, neck and head are taken into the maw. As the last of my hair slides in, the maw closes and I’m bathed in darkness.

Every second is another inch of my body falling into her balls, falling into the cum, dissolving out of existence. I can feel Irina’s hands move to her shaft; her strokes seem to push my body along faster as the shaft becomes even tighter than I thought possible. I want to scream from the sensory overload, having cum so many times that I’ve literally lost count. Once my mind breaks completely, I will become sex and I will exist in perpetual ecstasy forevermore.

Even so… The doubts persist. The cum has all but swallowed me up, but I cannot bring myself to let go of my mind. A lone thought keeps my mind intact, a thought which now defines my existence. I want to live alongside this cock.

“Oh, hell!” Irina shouts as her cock begins to climax. I can feel my essence sloshing around before being forced up her shaft and out into the open room. I scream louder than I ever thought possible as I crash into the wall, splattering against the painter’s plastic. It takes a moment to sense where my molecules are, but slowly I drip down onto the floor and pool myself together.

Irina watches all of this with a frown. “Insolent girl… Just what are you up to?”

“Ungh…” I swirl and mold myself into the shape of my original body, but I am completely white from head to toe. “What happened to me…?”

“Essentially, you violated the terms of our agreement; put in more specific terms, your desires to exist physically won out over your desires to exist spiritually. You will now live out the rest of your days as a cumgirl. Is this what you really wanted?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, I move myself to the bed and grab her cock, kissing it passionately. “Yes… I realized that my purpose was not merely to exist, but to serve. If you will give me that opportunity, I will devote myself to it entirely.”

“You are truly a strange one, dear Nicole. Yet I can tell that your words are, in fact, genuine. Alright, then; I shall consider this our contract and honor it dutifully. Welcome to your new life.”

Embracing her cock more passionately, I made love to it throughout the day. I would do so often in the days to come, having found my equilibrium within the universe. In my mind, it was an experience far greater than any Heaven could hope to be.

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